Help here this is very important.?

ok, i know this is gonna sound pretty bad, but one unhelpful or rude answer i am deleting the question. ok, i am 12 years old and i had a boyfriend (he is 12 too) and we got really bored a couple nights ago and he started kissing my neck and he put me on the bed and i didnt do anything because i didnt know what to do. he put me on the bed and started kissing my neck and making out with me and stuff i was so scared i didnt do anything. he started saying stuff like "come on, it doesnt hurt" or "its ok dont be scared" he took his shirt off and stuff and i wanted to run but i was afriad he would hurt me or something. he took my shirt off and everything else. and well, i think he either had with me or d me or something but now i am very scared of him. I AM NOT TELLING MY PARENTS BOTTOM LINE. i am not calling any help lines or going to a grownup or a counselor or therapy. i just need some advice people. please no rude anwers this is very personal and i might kill myself. HELP!!!!!!!